I´ve stopped thinking! Hurrah! Have you ever noticed how most of the good stuff in life seems to waltz past you simply because you are too over thinking matters and therefore clustering every chance of actually taking a leap of faith.

I´ve been over thinking, over wishing things, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping that I´d get money somewhere, I´d get a job somewhere, my rent would be paid somehow magically and that my school work would just do itself. When in fact, that is all bullshit. I will get nothing done so and I ought to stop wishing and over thinking and just get on with it. Stiff upper lip and all that.

My best friend, my darling woman, Jules, is leaving for home on Sunday. She has been one of those people that you just know from the start that you will know still when you are drooling all over yourself in a nursing home. She has helped me through so much drama and simply been there without any drama, that I´m not sure how exactly I will be able to start holding down the fort by myself again. It´s both a brilliant thing that she is leaving and the saddest thing in years. I love the fact that things keep changing yet I vehemently object to it. Our time together in this country has come to an end, yet now our relationship will only become stronger and even more international! And this makes the sun shine out of my bottom.

I´ve booked flights to Barca, to go for an interview with Leos future school. 380 freaking euros for one whole day there. It dawned to me that we seriously do not know anyone there. Not a soul. I had somehow thought that we could just stay at a friends house for the couple of nights and I very nearly soiled myself out of horror when I realized that in fact, we are really jumping into the deep end. But I´m not that scared anymore. It´s merely a test of merit and how steely my balls are. Symbolically speaking naturally.

Tonight we had the last mothers day party at Leos daycare. He looked so huge among the other kids, it was comical. He will grow up to be such an entertainer! I love it! So I got my flowers and the card he had made and can go to sleep feeling like a good mom for a change. Which is exactly what I will do now!